I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
