The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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