I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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