You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
