I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize