No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize