She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
