He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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