so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
