i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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