ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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