ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
