He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
