I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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