Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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