I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
