shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
