Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Randomize
