hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We're too hungover to prance.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
