ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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