Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
