Your dad touched me again.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
