Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
