Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
