Dual....:-)
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize