I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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