A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
