So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
