ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
