I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
