It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
