he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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