I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize