Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
