He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
