this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
