then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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