OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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