Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
