there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
