yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
