this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
