WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
