Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
