i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
