On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
