I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
