he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
