It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
