So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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