Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
