I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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