If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
