She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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