We're like a lot better than the average bears
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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