you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Operation Purity has been aborted
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
