we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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