my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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