Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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