I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
