tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
