I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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